the lightness of being

Tonight I have no plans. It’s Friday, work is done, and I am inexplicably giddy walking home from the office. I have nothing on the agenda for the evening. In fact, my weekend has recently cleared.  I feel lighter, happier, and much more positive than I have in recent days. The funk I’ve been in has finally lifted and I am vibrating with the universe on a higher frequency. Hallelujah I’ve turned the corner and things are looking up!


With my new found free time, I took my dog for her usual walk, but instead of heading back home I stopped for a drink of wine at a neighborhood wine bar. The sidewalk seating there is perfect for people watching.

At the table on my left is a group of girls. Five of them in their mid-twenties sharing a bottle of prosecco. They seem to have just gotten off work and are still talking shop. The gal sitting closest to me, on the other side of a potted plant, breaks the workplace war stories by turning the topic to vacations. She talks about her upcoming trip to Paris that she is planning because she and her hubby are going to start trying to have kids soon and she wants to be able to imbibe in France before trying for baby.

Meanwhile, two young professional looking guys snag the table to my right and give my dog a few pats before taking a seat. I order a glass of Clavo Granche Blanc ’09 and settle into reading up on securities law as it pertains to 1031 exchanges and TIC investments.  I am a sexy nerd with adorable doggie sidekick.  Eavesdropping is my super power, and I love wine.

The women to order another bottle and it doesn take long before the one sitting on the other side of the plant from me starts dialing a male friend to introduce him as a possible love connection to one of the group. They’re all a bit louder now, and the girl-talk turns to reminiscing about playing strip poker and making out with randoms at 4a.m. I feel like someone pressed the fast forward button, and instinctively check my watch.  And that’s when things got loud.  “HEY! YOU’RE HOT! Yah, YOU… YOU THERE… there in that HAT… you’re HOTTT!!..”  Giggles all around, and she falls off the bench and into the plant.  At which point she amazes herself by stating the obvious- “Look! I’m in a bush!!” … yup… and soon she’ll be in Paris, with her husband, trying to start a family.


I paid my tab and headed home. The last few weeks have been particularly rough for me, for reasons that I don’t fully understand. As I try to make sense of it all, I consider that I may have been experiencing a type of growing pains. If true, then I can rejoice that I am moving forward and ascending to new levels of awesomeness. If not, well, then I’m quite possibly bipoloar with a strong willpower to cling to mania. I’ve read philosophy, prayed in churches, lit candles in temples, talked with counselors, studied astronomy, consulted with past-life seers, traveled the world, practiced yoga, performed rituals, journaled, and meditated… and now I just wonder optimistically what is next to come.

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