*I warn you- this post is raw and unedited. Take it as you will.*

I was notified a few weeks ago that I was not accepted into the Boston Marathon. Those who qualified by 3:23 or more got in. I qualified by 2:43.

To be completely honest- I was shocked when I received the email. Friends who have run Boston several times had been telling me I was safe and good to go…But,  when they released the cutoff time- this is the strictest Boston cut off time they have ever had, by over a minute. The posts flooded in on their instagram and blogs about how they needed to change the qualifying times if the cut off was going to be that strict. Or limit the number of charity runners etc and give more spaces to those who trained their asses off to qualify and are now not going to toe that line in April.

Now.. I qualified over a year ago and have been pregnant and had a baby since then- I was planning on quickly getting back in shape and going to Boston in April to take on the Boston Marathon and earn my jacket. That is clearly not going to happen this year.

I thought I would be really upset – maybe even cry if I didn’t get in- but you know what, I didn’t. I surprised myself. The week I received the email- my oldest daughter had been in the hospital for 4 days and was having surgery that day for what they thought (and it ended up being), osteomyelitis and bacterium. As horrific as that week was with her in the hospital, it put things like the Boston Marathon (and LOTS of other things I was stressing over lately) in perspective for me. Yes, I want to run it (and I will!), but – it’s not in the cards for me this year and I am completely ok with that. That week- whether or not I was running the Boston Marathon, was the last thing on my mind.

I can qualify again. I can train harder. I can run faster.

I might fail a few times along the way – but that is ok. I have my three beautiful kiddos who will see their mama work hard for something she wants – and that starts now. I am officially released (post csection) to start running again- so this pup and I️ are back at it.

Boston –  I’m coming for you.